Maydare Volume 7: Other Side - Thor, Delivering the Finishing Blow.
At every turning point in my life, I always wondered.
How could Thor Bigreitz’s life be so riddled with misfortune?
I kept losing the things most important to me.
”Aah, I never thought I would see you again, Dominic.”
I was now called “Thor Bigreitz,” but my real name, given to me by my parents, was actually Dominic.
In my opinion, it didn’t suit me, and I didn’t want to be called by my own name.
Because, I was reunited with my birth mother in a Vabel hospital.
”You grew up so well…”
The woman who gave birth to me, who I thought of as my mother, reached out an emaciated hand towards me as I stood by her bedside.
”I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ve always regretted giving you up back then…”
My mother was already bedridden with a terminal illness.
She was told that she only had a few days left, and I just so happened to be in Vabel right now.
”That person left me when I got sick and went off somewhere. I became all alone in the end. You were always protecting me from him and getting beaten for that.”
My mother’s frail body lay on the bed as she looked at me with tears flowing from her eyes. She apologized to me again and again.
”I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I couldn’t protect you.”
To be honest, I didn’t know how to react.
She was indeed my mother. I recognized her face and her voice. And yet…
And yet, I felt no emotion towards her.
She was the one who sold me to the slavers. It was actually my father who sold me, but my mother didn’t even try to do anything to stop him.
Even though she didn’t know how horribly I was treated after my parents sold me, my mother was now begging for my forgiveness. She cried and complained that my father had taken most of the money they got after they sold me.
So what? It was just “bad luck” for me to meet my mother again at such a time and place.
I felt not a single shred of pity for my mother who was on death’s doorstep, and felt nothing but coldness towards her, but I narrowed my lightless eyes and smiled as I took her hand. “No, I don’t hate you. It’s thanks to you that I’m who I am today, Mom.”
My mother smiled back at me weakly with tears streaming down her face. Without ever knowing my true feelings, she slowly closed her eyes.
I feel like I was witnessing the moment when a person’s soul suddenly leaves this world.
While being forgiven and watched over by me, her son, my mother died.
"Mea Dea." Bishop Eska and the sister, who were standing by my side, offered prayers.
A warm breeze gently ruffled the curtains and the shadows of the trees swayed on the walls.
She died on a warm, sunny day. What a fortunate woman she was, to have such a peaceful death while having sold her own child to a slaver for money.
She had probably also been through a lot, having been abused by a terrible man, but…did she ever imagine how much despair I felt after I was sold by my parents, bound in cold chains, deprived of my freedom, stripped of my human dignity, and subjected to intense pain and humiliation?
These dark feelings continued to bloom quietly in my heart.
"Bishop Eska. Sister May. Thank you for taking care of my mother. I never expected to see her in a place like this, but…thanks to that, I was able to be with her until the end."
After leaving the hospital, I bowed my head to Bishop Eska, who brought me here, and Sister May, a nun.
"Mmm, I was hesitating over whether or not to tell you, Dominic, but…I think this is also the guidance of Vabilophos," Sister May said as she wiped her tears.
She was actually May, my younger cousin on my mother’s side who lived nearby when I was little and someone like a childhood friend. Her family helped me considerably when I was a kid, but after my father sold me to slavers when they were away, I never saw May again.
May was now working as a nun in Vabel, and it was through her referral that my mother was admitted to a hospital here.
She told me that on the day I arrived in Vabel, she saw me on the main street and realized that I was her cousin Dominic.
She then hurriedly consulted with Bishop Eska if she should take me to meet my ill mother.
May, of course, knew that I was sold to slavers by my parents. That was why she had been conflicted to the end about whether or not she should tell me about my mother’s illness and let me see her.
But then she decided that it was fate that I showed up at this time…
”Then, I shall take my leave now,” Sister May said after Bishop Eska signaled her with his eyes, then returned to the hospital.
"So, your real name is Dominic, huh. It doesn’t fit you."
Even though I had just witnessed my mother’s death, Bishop Eska was acting the same as usual.
I wasn’t particularly grieving, so I didn’t expect him to be considerate or anything, but…
"Yes, that’s right. Dominic was the name my parents gave me. I abandoned it a long time ago, so I’ve almost forgotten it…"
There was a time when I was called by that name. To my childhood friend, Sister May, I was no one else but Dominic.
But at some point I completely forgot about being called by that name. Now it feels like someone else’s name.
"Well, ever since I could remember, it was an unfortunate name that had always felt wrong."
"I ain’t surprised. I’m no ‘naming witch,’ but even I can tell that’s not the best name for you. You must have sensed that too. That said, names play an important role in the world of Maydare, and it’s your first gift from your parents. It’s been a long time since you’ve been called by that name. Maybe it also gives you a sense of closure." Bishop Eska looked at me probingly.
I guessed what he meant by “closure.”
He wanted me to Return immediately. Just like Milady.
So, I answered decisively.
"I have no desire to Return."
"Because you will no longer be you?"
"I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to lose what is important to me anymore."
"Did the death of a parent who abandoned you affect you that much?"
"...No, not at all."
"Then, was the Return of Makia O’Drielle a shock to you?"
"..."
When I saw how Milady bared her feelings towards General Kanon and how distraught she was this morning, I felt that I knew the true nature of the anxiety I harbored somewhere in my heart.
"I think so. Perhaps I realized it again after seeing Milady this morning. If I also Return, I will lose sight of my precious feelings in this life. I don’t want that."
I clutched my chest tightly.
My precious feelings in this life…
They were, without a doubt, the important memories and feelings that were created by meeting Milady.
I had already been reborn once by meeting her on that day.
As though to sever the chains of misfortune, she burned through my chains, reached out her hand to me, and gave me a new name.
At that moment, I saw my first blessing in this world.
The dark shadows of my vision were illuminated. To me, that small girl named Makia O’Drielle seemed like a shining goddess of salvation.
She grinned fearlessly and proclaimed herself to be the descendant of the worst witch in the world, but even that seemed dazzling.
Was the Milady I loved still in there?
I didn’t know. I didn’t want to know.
After she Returned, she immediately went to that man.
Not me. It wasn’t me.
In that moment, I wasn’t in the center of her heart.
I felt like I had already seen her chasing after him in the distant past…
"I know. Considering the state of the world, I should Return and recall all of the <Black Demon King’s> magical arts. This isn’t the time to be upset over Milady’s change. You would say the same thing, wouldn’t you?"
"Well, your spatial magic is special. It has an astonishing aptitude for war that we who use spirit magic can’t match. I do want you to use it at full power as soon as possible."
"..."
Bishop Eska spoke honestly.
Of course, to people like him, Queen Shatoma, and General Kanon, who were working hard for the future of their nation, my worries and internal conflicts must seem trivial. Even Prince Ulysses was on that side.
They would say that my personal love troubles were of secondary importance.
"You’re a bishop, and yet you want me to Return and gain the power that’ll threaten to kill many people in war?"
"Don’t get sarcastic with me. The enemy is Twilight. I’m telling you that there are situations where your power is needed to counter them."
"For a great magician, you sure are humble. If I complete my Return, will I be able to make ruthless, rational, and mature decisions like you?"
The reason I couldn’t stop being sarcastic was because I was sure Bishop Eska would hear it for what it was.
I was being treated like a kid. I knew that, but I said those words as though spitting them out.
But Bishop Eska didn’t get angry or scold me.
"What are you talking about. I don’t know how you see us, but we are also working for the things and people important to us.”
"...”
"Even that black-hearted prince Ulysses is like that. He’s extremely self-centered. He only thinks about his own goals. All the lord-class magicians are. They make decisions based on their personal wishes and want to live a life without regrets in this life. You’re just too busy with your own stuff to notice.”
"Prince Ulysses…and the other great magicians?”
A life without regrets in this life…
So in short, did everyone have regrets about their previous lives?
What are the wishes of the great magicians?
"So what about you, Bishop Eska? For whose sake are you working?”
"Me? Well…”
I thought he would tell me boldly, but instead, he averted his gaze slightly.
"There’s someone I want to save,” he spoke in a rare quiet tone.
I furrowed my brow. It was an unexpected answer, but I also thought it was just like him.
"Was that your goal after you recalled your memories? Is it someone important to you? In the first place, when did you Return?” I questioned him sharply.
But despite that, Bishop Eska replied seriously to me in a somewhat admonishing tone.
"I had Returned from the time I was a baby. Basically, I had my past life memories almost since the day I was born. No matter how many times I’m reborn, I will always be born in the Holy Land and have my previous life’s memories from the time I was born. I’m a great magician in that position, which has been established since the Age of Myths. …I never had the chance to cultivate a new personality.”
He looked and spoke very philosophically.
He was usually noisy and boisterous, but he was still a great magician on the same level as Prince Ulysses. He was different from me.
"But I’ve been reborn again. I can try to live a different life. I can try to be who I want to be. I’ve completely changed my persona from my previous life.”
"...”
Persona change…
"It’s not often in the history of great magicians that you get back memories of your previous life after building your life and developing your personality up to your age. I think Kanon…probably wants great magicians who aren’t bound by the memories and personality of their previous life.”
"Kanon?” I answered curtly. I wondered if I was now suffering from the trouble between my previous life and this one, just as that person wanted me to be.
"But, anyone who touches Vabilophos and gets rocked by the giant cradle of memories loses themselves and gets confused. Don’t judge whether or not Makia O’Drielle has completely changed. How can you not trust her?”
"...”
But the bishop probably didn’t know about it.
The bad premonitions and frustration that had been within me for a long time.
I saw the look on Milady’s face this morning and heard her words. For some reason, I feel like the missing puzzle pieces had clicked into place.
...Ah, I expected this.
Though I still didn’t know anything, I had that conviction. This must have come from my previous life.
Did the Black Demon King have unrequited feelings for the Scarlet Witch?
Was his heart broken?
Was “Kanon” his love rival?
Why?
Why did I feel like I couldn’t compete with Kanon?
I already felt defeated. I felt like there was an unfamiliar man behind me whispering “Give up” and “Step aside. Don’t tie up your love for Milady.
Maybe it would be better for me to complete my Return and deliver the finishing blow to these feelings after learning the truth.
If I do that, I might be able to give up on Milady.
But if I gave up on her, then I would be all alone.
I had no family. No home. No place to call my hometown.
Milady, who was the most important person in the world to me, the O’Drielles, the Deliafield mansion, the Salt Forest…
I would lose the places I wanted to return to, and the treasures I finally found.
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