Maydare Volume 6 Chapter 14 - Reminiscence (9) ~Enemies of the World~
Just a heads up: there are several descriptions of suicide attempts and suicide ideation in the beginning, so be warned.
Also, only two more chapters left until the end!
The man I raised might have been a monster.
Kanon killed Yunocis, the <White Sage>.
What was more, he declared in the Holy Land that he would kill Torc and me, his adoptive parent.
The great magicians were the enemies of the world.
What happened to Kanon?
Did this mean he was no longer the Kanon I knew?
What was I doing, trying so desperately to protect him…?
It didn’t matter if everyone in the world hated me, but if Kanon wanted me to die, then there was no point in living anymore.
Around this time, I kept thinking about how I could die.
I wanted to die anyway.
I wanted to end my life.
With that in my mind, I tried to stab myself in the chest with a knife I had at home. However, it just caused a lot of pain, and healing magic worked on its own regardless of my will, and I was completely healed while I was writhing in pain.
Next, I tried to jump off a cliff to my death. Even though I jumped off easily, and my body and head were crushed before I could even feel pain, I regained consciousness after a while, and by that time my body had completely healed. It was like I had never jumped at all.
This time, I tried to drink poison. After I made my best poisonous potion and drank it, I only felt a momentary burning sensation in my throat and stomach. All I did was drink a bitter and unpleasant drink and tilted my head in confusion.
By now, I was already immortal.
I never knew I was such a monster.
As I was continuing these attempts, I gradually became unable to use magic.
Since I was trying to die by any means possible, I think my magic had been restricted in order to protect my body.
Don’t screw with me!
Don’t toy with my body and my magic!
Ah, but if I couldn’t use magic, then maybe healing magic wouldn’t work either, so I tried to perform all the suicidal acts I had done so far, but healing magic was the only thing that worked on its own. I was at my wit’s end. After all, I didn’t age, and if I couldn’t die, then I couldn’t die.
It would be a living hell for this to continue for the rest of my life.
Ah. But…
If Kanon was going to kill me, then that would be the only time I would be able to see him again.
Maybe being killed by Kanon was my own salvation.
One day, the Black Demon King Torc came to visit my hut without warning.
“Makirié.”
“...”
I was sitting in a chair by the window, looking outside and petting my dwarf hamster spirits Popoloactus and Dontanates, who were sleeping in my lap. Even when the man I once loved called my name, my expression didn’t change at all.
Why was he coming to me now…
I only thought that vaguely. I didn’t really care anymore.
I once wanted this man to visit the Salt Forest again.
I was looking forward to the day when he would visit me.
But now, he was no longer in the center of my heart.
“It’s been a while. You look…well, you don’t look well at all,” Torc said as he took me in.
At that time, I probably looked very pale and haggard.
“As you probably know, the <White Sage> Yunocis is dead.”
“Yes, of course I know. Kanon killed him,” I said calmly, and Torc’s eyebrow twitched.
“The Savior will come and kill me and you next. He has the means to kill us. Otherwise, there’s no way that Yunocis would be killed.”
“...I know. It must be the power of that dagger.”
“Dagger?”
“It’s something that Kanon has always kept close to him,” I answered matter-of-factly.
Kanon once pointed it at me.
I remembered well the strange fear I felt at the time, but now I understood that it was the power of the Savior, who was able to kill us.
Torc seemed to notice the strange air about me and kept silent for a while.
Then, he looked around the room and seemed to notice that it was very bare.
“You’ve completely cleaned up this room. You won’t be able to live like this.”
“It’s fine. I’m leaving this house soon.”
“Are you going to run away from that man?”
“No. I’m planning to go and meet Kanon.”
“...”
“I can barely use magic anymore either. This is the time.”
Torc furrowed his eyebrows, and he had a suspicious expression on his face.
I was going to meet Kanon. I couldn’t use magic.
In other words, it was like saying I was going to get killed.
I continued in a weak voice. “I’m sorry, Torc. Everything turned out exactly as you said. Unlike me, you just got dragged into this whole mess.”
From the beginning, Torc was suspicious of Kanon and was extremely wary of him.
On the other hand, Yunocis, who had found hope in the existence of a Savior, was killed by Kanon.
“It’s all my fault. It’s my fault for raising that child. That’s why I’m going to ask Kanon not to kill you. You have something to live for and protect. If he still wants to kill you, then I…will stop him. That will be the last thing I’ll do.”
Even if I couldn’t use magic.
Even if I had to sacrifice myself in order to harm him.
“I will…kill…”
“Enough, stop it!”
However, Torc sharpened his tone and shook his head.
He quickly walked up to me, looked down at me in the chair, and spoke in a forceful tone.
“Makirié, come to my country.”
“...”
“I won’t let you go to that man. You will become my wife.”
It was like a command.
Even though I was in an absent-minded daze, at those words, I looked up and stared at Torc.
“Huh…?”
What did this man say just now?
I couldn’t believe his words at all.
Torc got down on one knee in front of me, met my gaze, and repeated himself.
“Become my wife, Makirié. Leave this forest and come to my country.”
“...Your wife?”
Finally understanding the situation, I kept repeating “Huh?” and “What?”
“W-What are you saying? You have Sheeve, don’t you?” I pointed out, and Torc’s eyes looked very sad for a moment.
Then, he lowered his gaze slightly.
“Sheeve…I see, you don’t know yet. Sheeve died seven years ago.”
“What…”
“The war intensified, and many of our countrymen and children became casualties. Under those circumstances, she continued to suffer from heartache and became ill. In the end, she caught an illness that was going around and died quietly, refusing to accept even my healing magic. Perhaps she thought about the future and decided that it would be easier to die here. Sheeve was the kind of woman who was…always looking for freedom in death somewhere in her heart.”
“...”
I hadn’t known. Sheeve had already died a long time ago.
When I heard that story, I remembered the words she once said to me.
You have unlimited freedom. It’s blindingly brilliant.
She was a delicate, fragile woman who longed for independence and freedom.
“We’re both left behind by our families.”
“B-But…I…”
“I know. I know at least that I no longer have a place in your heart,” Torc said.
If you hate it, you can always leave me, he added.
“I don’t mind being that man’s replacement. But from now on, let me protect you.”
Why did Torc want to make me his family now?
Was this his way of taking responsibility?
I had no strong feelings of rejection, so I went along with it and accepted his offer.
First, Torc set up a teleportation device that would allow people to move freely between my hut in the Salt Forest and the Country of Demons.
It seemed to have been developed by him using spatial magic during the last ten years of war.
Torc told me that a number of spells and magical devices like this had been developed in the wake of war.
Using that teleportation device, two red-haired women who served Torc came to this hut. I was shocked when I saw their familiar facial features.
“Melissa! Jane!”
That’s right. The older sister, Melissa, was once sent to the Country of Demons as an agent of Hermedes, and the younger sister, Jane, was held by the empire as a hostage. They were the O’Drielle sisters, who I helped on a whim.
“How unexpected. Both of you have grown up into fine adult ladies. The last time we met, you were just innocent children.”
“Oh, Lady Witch. We can’t all stop aging like you. Lately, I’ve been getting fine lines around my eyes,” the older sister, Melissa, said.
“But if we eat the rumored salt apples, we might be able to maintain a little bit of our youth,” the younger sister, Jane, said.
Lately, the sisters had been acutely aware of the inevitable aging process, and they had been obsessed with rejuvenating beauty treatments. Even though they were both still young and beautiful…
“Even if I want to get older, I can’t. I can’t die even if I want to these days,” I grumbled. Melissa suddenly slammed her hands on the table in front of me and lectured me in a strong tone.
“~~Lady Witch! You’re misleading people into thinking you’re an evil witch precisely because you’re so carefreely proclaiming inhuman things like that!”
“Eh, huh?”
“After I was helped by you, I gathered and tried to confirm many of the rumors about the <Scarlet Witch>. The townspeople are saying that the girls you saved from slave traders on a whim were burned and eaten by you. You only turned them into frogs and let them escape far away. They turned back into humans after the spell wore off. I met one of those girls, and she was doing very well.”
“...I see. That’s good to hear.”
It was true that I sometimes helped people on a whim. Well, even when I helped people, it would be interpreted in a terrible way and turn into horrible rumors about the <Scarlet Witch>...
“Lady Witch, no matter what good things you do, they’re all twisted into evil deeds. It’s the same with our Demon King.”
“That’s right. It’s very frustrating. Because of that attack on the empire when you rescued me, you were rumored to be an even more vicious witch, even though you’re so kind. As a Scarlet Witch fan, it’s a great shock.”
Melissa and Jane were extremely frustrated about the bad rumors regarding the Scarlet Witch.
There was a time when I was a little worried about people saying bad things or things that never happened, but these days I didn’t care anymore. In fact, I felt rather nostalgic about a lot of things.
That being said, I didn’t know the O’Drielle sisters admired me so much.
“Ahem. I understand that you two are obsessed with the Scarlet Witch, so can we move on?”
The girls were getting carried away, so Torc cleared his throat and got us back to the main topic.
The O’Drielle sisters, remembering themselves, closed their mouths.
“From now on, I’m thinking of having the O’Drielle sisters manage the hut in the Salt Forest. Is that okay with you, Makirié?”
“Huh? I guess I don’t have any problem with that.”
“I’m not trying to take this house away from you. You can come back whenever you like, and the O’Drielle sisters will probably be going back and forth between here and the Country of Demons.”
“...?”
In that case, wouldn’t it better to just leave the house vacant?
That was what I thought, but Torc explained the details.
“This Salt Forest is a reservoir of extremely strong magical power. With the development of military magic, this war has evolved into a competition for reservoirs like these. Humans don’t come near this place because they still believe the Scarlet Witch lives here, but if they know that you’re gone, there’s a good chance that they’ll take over the Salt Forest.”
Is that so? I hadn’t thought about it that far, but I’m sure these people had many experiences of being robbed of their important places and felt a sense of crisis about that.
If the O’Drielle sisters would protect the place where I was born and raised, then I couldn’t be more grateful.
“Don’t worry, Lady Witch, we’ll take good care of this hut and the Salt Forest.”
“Whenever you want to come back here, it’ll continue to be the home you desire.”
“...Melissa. Jane.”
“Because His Majesty might make the Lady Witch angry.”
“He might do something that will make her say something like, ‘Please let me go back to my parents’ house.’”
“Right~” “Right~”
Melissa and Jane looked at each other and nodded.
Well, they did have a point…
Torc was the only one who looked a little uncomfortable.
“Ahem. Besides, in case of an emergency, this place would be a good refuge. We’ll put up a barrier around the Salt Forest to make sure humans can’t break in.”
“Yes. We may not look it, but we have quite a lot of magical power, and we’re very good at barriers and magic walls! We worked hard to become a witch like you! And, it’s magic directly handed down to us from His Majesty!”
Melissa patted her chest and told us to leave it to her.
Next to her, Jane was smiling.
It seemed that these two had become quite skilled witches over the past ten years under Torc’s guidance.
I didn’t know it at the time, but the O’Drielle sisters would later play a very important role in the Salt Forest.
I moved my residence to the castle in the “Country of Demons.”
In the long state of war, the Country of Demons was protected by many layers of barriers, even stronger than when I first came here.
This was because military magic on the human side had developed significantly, and there had been several times when the enemy had created paths that led to infiltration, resulting in considerable casualties. Torc, looking ahead to the future, seemed to be making a lot of preparations.
There was a tall young demon man waiting at the end of the hallway inside the castle.
When he saw me, he bowed his head in greeting.
“It’s been a long time since we last saw each other, Lady Scarlet Witch.”
“Oh my, are you Skroot?”
Skroot Twilight.
He was the child of Torc and Sheeve, and I was the one who named him. In other words, I was also his godmother. Even though the demon blood in his veins was expressed strongly in his appearance, his face, like that of a black wolf, was dignified, and he was so handsome that one couldn’t help but fall for him. As expected of Torc’s son.
“You’ve grown into a handsome man. I heard that demons grow up faster than humans, but you’re already a grown man now. Since you’re so handsome, I bet you’re popular with girls~”
“Hahaha. It’s all thanks to you for naming me. I’ve been able to come this far without illness or injury.”
His voice was also quite mature, to the point where it had a pleasant austereness to it.
He might even look more mature than Torc. Torc also spoke proudly about his son.
“Skroot has already become the general of this country. He’s my son, and I rely on him more than anyone else.”
“Indeed. He’s a lot bigger than you, and at first glance, he’s the one who looks more like a majestic demon king.”
“...Just leave it.”
Oh. Torc might have been bothered by that.
About the fact that his son was already exuding the somberness of an adult…
In this way, I was accepted into the “Country of Demons.”
The people were surprisingly welcoming and warm towards me, the second wife of their king.
This was because the rumors that the Scarlet Witch and Black Demon King had teamed up spread outside, serving as a deterrent to the human side, especially Hermedes. The attacks on the Country of Demons had temporarily stopped. I couldn’t use offensive magic, but outsiders didn’t know that.
Also, with the death of the <White Sage>, the southern Kingdom of Ruschia was trying to turn the school island into a military fortress, which had been criticized by the Holy Land and the western nations, and it was said that this was a sign of conflict.
It seemed that the Savior of Fraxinus and his Guardians were busy dealing with the conflict over there.
In the end, humans once again started fighting amongst themselves, and there was a temporary truce in the war between the humans and the Country of Demons.
Also…
Torc, who took me as his wife, had been very doting and kind to me.
It was as though he was trying to make up for the long period of time where he kept me away.
However, even though I felt a certain comfort in his kindness,somewhere in my heart, I was confused by it and couldn’t accept it wholeheartedly.
I couldn’t help but think that the reason why he was so kind to me was because he had been inconsiderate of my feelings for a long time, and this was like fulfilling an obligation or atonement for him.
When Torc came to kill Kanon, I poured out all my hidden love for him and my loneliness. I’m sure that caused quite a lot of shock to him.
Indeed, I was once in love with him, but now I found myself thinking about Kanon all the time, and Torc was no longer in my heart.
Although we were close to each other, we both knew that we were not in love with each other. There was a distance between us.
That was the distorted relationship we had as a couple.
“Makirié, how long are you going to stay out there? You’ll catch a cold.”
One night, I went out to the balcony in a thin gown and looked up at the night sky for a long time. Torc, unable to just watch, threw his jacket over my shoulders and told me to come inside.
“But Torc, the stars are so beautiful. If you look at them closely, you can see them moving.”
“...”
The clear night sky in the crisp air was filled with sparkling stars.
The sky was covered in snow clouds all the time around here, but sometimes you could see a clear starry sky like this.
The starry sky seen from the Country of Demons was more beautiful than seen from anywhere else.
More than anywhere else, I felt like I could reach for the stars here.
“Makirié, are you thinking about that man?”
“...”
I turned around and looked up at him.
He had an indescribably complicated expression on his face.
I opened my mouth to say something, but then stopped.
It was true that unconsciously, I was trying to find Kanon in the night sky.
“I’m not criticizing you. It’s just…” Torc then shook his head and said, “Forget it.”
And then, next to me, he looked up at the same starry sky.
“When I see a sky like this, I remember the day you first came to this country. I don’t think you know this, but the night you came, the sky was so clear and starry.”
“...”
“Back then…haha, I thought a strange girl had come,” Torc spoke nostalgically with a wry smile. “There were many female spies who approached me amiably and tried to seduce and kill me, so I thought you were one of them. When I heard that you were a witch, I was even more wary. But you…your magic was beyond my imagination, and for the first time…I met a woman with power equal to or greater than my own.”
Women were fragile beings who must be protected.
My worldview was completely overturned, Torc laughed again.
“That’s why I thought to myself, ‘I should want to have a woman like you. It’s in fact disrespectful to think that I should protect you. I shouldn’t restrict your freedom.’”
Torc said that such feelings were the basis for his relationship with me.
“But now that I think about it, you’re always coming to see me, and you’re always wholeheartedly, single-mindedly…trying to protect what’s important to me. Sheeve, Skroot, even the O’Drielle sisters. …You suppressed your feelings and was willing to let yourself get hurt.”
“...”
“Still, you looked calm, and you were light, graceful, and bold in everything you did… I thought that part of you was strong and beautiful as well. But on the other hand, I realized…how sad it would be, if you had thought you loved me at that moment.”
Once I thought back upon your past words and actions, everything came together, Torc said.
“Why didn’t I notice…how lonely you felt? You were crying so much.”
Indeed, I feel like…I cried a lot in front of this man.
I probably cried the most on that day when the magic school created by the White Sage was completed.
However, in my case, even tears could be used as magic catalysts, so perhaps it was difficult to see the emotions contained within them.
“If the person by your side who soothed your loneliness was that man named Kanon, then I understand why he’s the person you care about the most. I think it’s only natural. Now, I finally understand it. …The pain and sadness of unrequited love when the person you love isn’t looking at you.”
Hearing that, I couldn’t help but laugh.
I spoke in the most cheerful tone I could, as matter-of-factly as possible.
“What are you saying? You don’t really like me that much, right?”
“...”
“If you were to like me, it would have happened a long time ago. Fundamentally, I’m not your type.”
“...Makirié.”
“Fufu. It’s okay. Still, I think we’re doing well. Thanks to you, I don’t want to die anymore. That in itself is amazing.”
We were both considered enemies of the world.
That was why we protected at each other by being together.
A couple who could do that wasn’t bad at all.
This is probably what political marriages between royalty are like…I calmly thought to myself.
However, Torc’s brows were still furrowed in sorrow.
“I’m sure I’ll never be loved by you again.”
“...Torc?”
“I know I’ll never have your heart again.”
Torc wrapped his arms around my back and hugged me tightly and painfully.
He buried his face in my shoulder and spoke earnestly.
“At least, I’ll stay by your side. I’ll make all your wishes come true. If there’s anything I can do for you, please tell me.”
…My wish, huh.
What were my wishes now?
What did I want to be, and what did I want to do?
“Hey, Torc. I…”
That day, I told my wish to Torc.
He was extremely shocked, but he accepted it.
This wish was connected to the birth of the “two clans” that would recur in the far future.
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